April 5, 2011

Fat and Massage

“What do you do with a client who's really fat? I mean, like 300 pounds? How can you do them any good?”

It was a fellow student in massage school asking the question, a few years ago. I looked at him in surprise. He was a big guy, heavier than me, probably only 60 pounds shy of the 300 mark himself. The question struck me as bizarre. He went on, “How do you even get to the muscle?”

I don't remember what the teacher answered. She seemed as perplexed as I was. How do you get to it? You go around the adipose tissue or through it, just like with anyone else. If there's a lot, going through it can be poky, so you use a blunter “point” – the heel of the hand instead of fingertips or thumbs, say. But we all already did that. Even a skinny person, anyone who's not downright emaciated, has patches of adipose tissue. We'd been working with it for a year. What was the big deal?

But this student was plainly distressed, and I could see that we had left the realm of the rational. He was a good guy, not a jerk. But some people are a little nuts about obesity. We had left the realm of facts and were floating in the anxiety zone.

I find it slightly easier to work on fat people than to work on skinny people. Skinny people are easy to hurt: the muscle tissue lies smack against the bone without any padding and working it without pinching it takes some delicacy. Fat people often have a few places where I change techniques so as not to poke – upper arms and inner thighs, for example. Trigger point can be a little trickier. But actually the way the body lays in fat leaves almost all of the sweet spots completely accessible. It's just not a problem. And if you work glutes and abdominals at all, you already know how to work through fat.

Every body – every body, no exceptions – presents challenges and requires some improvisations and adaptations. There's no such thing as a normal body. They all have injuries and unexpectedly tender places; joints with limited range or hyperextensible ones. If you can't modify your routine to fit the body at hand, you simply can't do massage. The clients I find most challenging are heavily muscled men, weight lifters, for instance, who are simply damned heavy to move around, and present a lot of dense muscle acreage to get through. But I don't mind that. It's my job, working with different bodies. That's what I do. I got into this profession partly because I like bodies. I'm curious about all the shapes they can take. I don't want them all to be the same.

Over and over people – especially women – apologize to me for their fat, as if they were offending me. I'll be working on what seem to me like perfectly lovely calves, and suddenly my client will be explaining to me how she has always had thick ankles and the weight just seems to settle in there, and she's been trying to diet and . . .

There's always a moment of disorientation, while I try to figure out what on earth they're talking about. But when I do, it makes me unhappy. I want to say, “Look, there's nothing wrong with your ankles, or anything else about you! Your body's lovely! I'm enjoying it! If I wanted to do massage only on bony fourteen year old models, I would have mentioned it in my ads!” But that would not quite be professional either. I don't really know what I do. Murmur something reassuring and neutral, I suppose. It's all the odder because the people who do this are often leaner than I am. If apologies are in order, shouldn't I be apologizing to them?

I have worked on some very obese people, and their obesity has never been the main thing I have been coping with, during the massage. It's the regular challenges – what's the root of this tension? How do I work with this injured shoulder? What's the best positioning for this leg? – that occupy my attention. It simply doesn't make that much difference.

A couple years ago I had an email inquiry about massage, in which the writer said something to the effect of, “I'm very big, so please tell me up front if you have issues about fat.” I was glad she felt she could ask, but I was mortified, on behalf of my profession, that she felt she had to. No one should have to ask that. We're therapists, for God's sake. We have no business “having issues about fat,” any more than we should be having issues about shin splints or headaches.

I understand that many people – erroneously, I believe, but that's a different subject – think that obesity is a self-inflicted condition. But so what? We're surrounded by injuries and conditions that are more or less self-inflicted. I see lots of people who have run on concrete until their knees or ankles are a mess. I see long-time smokers who have an eerie, system-wide dessication of tissue. I see desk workers who have so abused their neck muscles, by staring motionless at a screen for twenty hours a day, that they can no longer turn their heads. Do I suddenly get on my moral high horse and refuse to treat them? Turn them away in disgust? I do not.

Nor do I tell people they should lose weight. If they haven't been living in a particularly remote section of the Carlsbad Caverns for the last fifty years, they already know that, and they've already tried to do it – repeatedly, and at a grievous expense of spirit. The last thing they need is for their massage therapist, the person they go to for comfort, to start harping on the same theme.

12 comments:

  1. Gosh, this was refreshing to read! Thank you, sir--and best luck to you!

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  2. <3 backatcha, Rachel :-)

    Tangoiste, welcome, & thanks!

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  3. Love you for this. I was so worried when I first called.

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  4. "I was glad she felt she could ask, but I was mortified, on behalf of my profession, that she felt she had to."

    Sadly, this is not uncommon in our profession. I once has a colleague on my table, who spent the better part of the hour lecturing me on my weight, telling me everything I was "probably" doing wrong, and how I presented a "poor image" of "us as professionals." At one point during this diatribe, she informed me that the only reason I was "so fat," was because I "obviously make a lot of bad choices," and that it was really "quite simple not to look the way you do."

    I'm sorry, WHAT?

    She spent the balance of the hour telling me how long she exercised daily, how far she walked, and how her sister had "really let herself go." (From what I could gather, her sister was about 20 lbs heavier than she was.)

    Maybe she felt free to talk like that (and to be so rude to me regarding my extra pounds,) because she was the client, but I suspect that she projects that attitude towards "disgusting and unhealthy fat" on her clients also.

    This was not the first time I've been lectured about my weight by another massage therapist, either while giving or receiving a massage. This is not a subject I bring up either.

    They're out there. And until reading your post just now, I didn't realize how very angry I was (and still am) at this massage therapist for abusing me in my own space. (Hey, maybe now I can let it go.)

    I suspect that more than a few of our clients, who feel compelled to apologize or preface their scheduling requests with inquiries regarding our view of "large" people, have encountered these attitudes from those who are supposed to be providing care.

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  5. Stacey, it gets downright bizarre sometimes. It was commendable of you not to accidentally roll this person off the table, and give them some gentle advice about their bad choice of falling to the floor.

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  6. Dale, thank you so much for this post. Now I can relax during my massages.
    Elsie

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  7. Random person from the interwebs, here. Props to you for being cool to your clients. And to Stacey, you shouldn't ever let another person treat you like that. Just throw some of that spa cucumber water in her face.

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  8. As a fat person who realy fees like I need a massage but am tired and fearful of being judged with righteous indignation by those who seem to think they are morally superior to me because they are thin, I did a google search to see how massage therapists feel about working on fat people. I must say your post has made me weep in gratitude. Thank you for validating me and my right to feel good about myself and my body. Just wish there were more people like you out there.

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  9. Oh, hugs. & do, go get a massage! There are plenty of people like me out there.

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